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| Words: 1052 | Submitted: 21-Oct-2011
99.3% | Number of pages: 2 | Filetype: Word .doc
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The stone pathway leading to the clinic seemed to me like walking through fire. Although, I wanted to turn around and drive back home, I was held tightly by my husband, encouraging me and trying to calm me with soothing words. Sitting in the waiting room of the clinic, I let myself drift back to the day, when I found out I was pregnant. The fear subsided, yet doubled after a while; my name was called.
My hands were trembling while filling up the forms. My husband kept his hand on my shoulder, patted me and said “it’s better to have no child rather than an abnormal one”. I did not know what had convinced me to come with him here, to agree for the abortion. I already had a sick feeling inside me; gradually my heart beat increased, my hair sticking to my forehead due to my perspiration and most of all I was at the verge of an outburst and hysteria. I was going to kill my baby, after all.
For the last five months, my family was happy and joyous, and my baby too. Surprisingly, in such an early stage of my gestation, my baby stirred and at times kicked. I always wanted to know beforehand whether my child would be a girl or a boy, and it was accessible, as I was a doctor by profession. Although a doctor helped me take a sample of my amniotic fluid, the rest was done by me.
I sat still, hands cold, unmoving, as white as snow, I realised, that we were in the clinic filling up my abortion form, and blaming myself for the very situation. If I had not done those filthy unnecessary tests to find out the gender, I wouldn’t ever have, had to face these situations. Observing my condition, overwhelmed with emotions, my husband took the pen and filled in the form while I sat frozen in place.
A tingling pain had overtaken my thoughts by the time we had finished filling up the forms. To me it seemed like my child was protesting, he wanted to live, to see this world, to make friends, to play and to love and in return be loved by others. I ignored the pain and asked for the way to the washroom.
Looking in the mirror, I affectionately touched the swollen part of my belly and felt my baby stir, and respond. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I did not want to abort my child , but if it were an abnormal child , not me nor my husband would be able to handle, as we both were working, and a special child needs special care throughout their life.
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